When in rome…
A view of Vatican City, taken from Ponte Sant'Angelo
When in Rome… You’ll Queue, Sweat, and Maybe Cry a Little
Ah, Rome. The Eternal City. A place where history oozes from every crack in the pavement and you’re never more than six feet away from a Vespa or someone trying to sell you a selfie stick.
Let’s set the scene: I arrived in Rome full of naive optimism, clutching my guidebook like a 2000s backpacker and dreaming of pasta-induced nirvana. What I got instead? A crash course in chaos, sunstroke, and an intimate understanding of what 30°C feels like when you're stuck in a crowd of tourists wearing bum bags.
Day One: The Colosseum (aka The World’s Most Elegant Queue)
Yes, it’s big. Yes, it’s impressive. But mostly, it’s a massive queue. You will queue to get in. You will queue to see the bit where the lions allegedly used to hang out. And you will absolutely queue to use the toilet, which is apparently from the Roman era too, judging by the plumbing.
On the plus side, I now know what it’s like to stand in the sun for 90 minutes slowly roasting like a human arancini. Gladiators had it easier, honestly.
Day Two: Vatican City – The World’s Smallest Country With the World’s Longest Corridors
If you enjoy shuffling through museums in single file while staring at the back of someone’s head from Ohio, the Vatican is for you. I’m not saying it wasn’t awe-inspiring, but by the time I got to the Sistine Chapel, I was so dehydrated and disoriented that I half expected Michelangelo to hand me a bottle of water and a map out.
The ceiling? Stunning. My neck? Ruined.
Food: Yes, It’s Good. No, You’re Not Special.
The food in Rome is delicious, obviously. The pasta is hand-made, the gelato is creamy, and the pizza is everything your diet warned you about. But here’s the thing: everyone thinks they’ve discovered some secret trattoria. Newsflash: If it’s on TripAdvisor, it’s not a hidden gem. It’s a tourist trap with candles in wine bottles and a guy named Marco playing "That’s Amore" on the accordion.
Locals: Cool, Stylish, Mildly Judgemental
Romans have this effortless style that makes you feel like a sweaty extra in a Dolce & Gabbana ad. They glide around in linen shirts and sunglasses while you’re melting into your trainers and regretting every life choice that led you to wear jeans.
Conclusion: Would I Go Back? Absolutely. Am I Complaining? Also Yes.
Rome is beautiful. It’s chaotic, loud, sticky, and full of wonder. You’ll be exhausted, broke, and slightly sunburnt. But somehow, you’ll still be smiling – probably while eating your third gelato of the day and pretending you understand how to cross the road without dying.
So yes, I went to Rome. I saw the ruins, I paid €5 for a bottle of water, and I may have developed a mild hatred for cobblestones. But would I do it all again?
…Absolutely!
